However many artists I met in my life, those who went through art education, had suffered from symptoms of self- doubt, criticism and technique shame that was debilitating their ability to express themselves freely. This is due to the fact that in art studying as a profession, there is a big emphasis placed on developing a proper technique in any given media. Glorifying the technical abilities and knowledge and of course, marking it, has put a stigma on myself and many others.
I attended Art High School and was blessed to meet many teachers, who nurtured my gifts rather than demanding technical perfection. Perhaps it was my luck, but my main professors who taught me painting/ drawing and ceramics throughout the 5 years of my education, were literally treating me in a very unorthodox way. For example, I was allowed to leave the class during still life assignments and work on my own in plain air because I told my professor I really can't stand still life. In ceramic class, all my ideas were welcomed and my professor not only encouraged me in my visions, he was proud of me and stood by me with the school committee.
After High School, I knew things were about to get a bit more rough at the university. When I was considering where to apply, I visited Krakow's Academy of Fine Arts for an art consultation. The humiliation we underwent was such, that our artwork was spread out on the floor and professors walked past it, as if we and the content of our hearts and souls didn't exist. When they finally gave us critique, the feedback was so harsh and brutal, I couldn't bear it. I chose Silesian University to apply instead, as professors there were much more friendly. And even so, I too had encountered harshness, bullying, ridicule and straight up demand that I don't paint in a certain way or my mark will be affected. I must admit, I had given in. Marks were important to me as I was relying on financial support of a scholarship to be able to afford schooling.
But what I didn't realize is how deeply this conditioning ran into my subconscious mind. I did start to believe that anything that comes from my heart is simply put, childish. Yes, those are the words that were used multiple times when I would present drawings and paintings from my heart. Instead, what was glorified, encouraged and demanded is that we each adopted a style of a professor whose class we were in. The styles were quite empty and consisted of repeating the most modern technique or school of painting that the professor chose for their artwork.
This is why when I first signed up for art therapy 10 years ago, I was scared and paralyzed of making a mistake, and was only able to think about the outcome. Other participants in the group were not artists, and I saw how much more ease they had in their expression. For me, it was such a battle to pick the most scary medium- watercolour. I picked it because I could least control it and I wanted to give up control.
Those weeks were when I created my most meaningful artful expressions and I couldn't believe how much more free I was. Practicing like that for years, I developed a method of art healing that uses art therapy exercises with guided meditation.
Things that I have learned about art, that art school and university didn't teach me:
Art is a connection to divine energy
Art is meant to be an act of enjoyment and not a painful, stressful task
Art can set our mind free because the mind can not comprehend it so it has to let it go
Art is healing- colours represent healing energy and playing with colours allows us to process our emotions
Art can bring awareness to areas of ourselves we have no access to otherwise
Art is an act of god and we are only facilitators- who created my hands and me? How can I ever claim this?
Your art may not sell, you may not become famous, but what you gain is a life lived according to the way you wanted to live it
Art creations brings tremendous joy and healing to the artist and that is why:
Artwork can give other people joy and healing- which makes artists healers
It's not about the product, but about the process
Creating art heals more than talking about our problems with a therapist
At the end of life, people regret not doing art due to believing they are not good enough (from my hospice volunteering)
Artist's life is a life of a mission that may never be compensated fairly for the amount of work done, but it is a life of meaning and inspiration
Have you been through formal art education or perhaps experienced art class trauma?
At what point did you start to believe that your art is not good enough and stopped yourself from creating?
Our art healing sessions are designed to help you open up to creating freely again. We were all artists as children, there is a way back.
I'd love to guide you back to your creativity.
Please contact me with questions or book your session today
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