written on December 2, 2020
I saw God today. Right at the time when I needed it the most.
Sometimes we get so engrossed in haste of day to day life we lose focus of what our true purpose is here, on Earth. The last few days have been like that to me. I was spinning down, again, hitting lower and lower energies. There are few tells I recognize to be able to recognize the depths of my deceptions and one of them is how I react to my cat. When the cat is starting to irritate me, that means things are going south quite fast. From there, it goes onto other members of my family, it feels like everyone is attacking me or against me in some ways. Experience tells this is a pattern to be observed and not reacted to, however breaking karmic patterns is not an easy task. There are always physical components that I experience as well like exhaustion, seeing double or hyper sensitivity to the screen light. Then there are mental tells: not being able to relax, muscle tension, and of course, the racing, negative thoughts.
All of these symptoms were intensifying in the last few days, so this morning I woke up groggy, tired and in a foul mood. Of course it makes sense that my husband was also in the foul mood and he started the morning by telling me to go and get the eggs at the farm. I did not want to go, feeling tired and having a busy day ahead. Our arguments aren’t even verbal anymore, he just senses my resistance and confronts me right away. For me, it’s better if I don’t speak at all at the moment of the confrontation because this will only add onto what he will say and make the interaction into more than it ever needs to be. I just left the house and drove to the farm, feeling sorry for my tired self. I was starting to get emotional and tear up a bit, but didn’t want to go on the full blown cry because I was going to see people.
As I turned into the inner road of the Mennonite farm I visit regularly, I saw a little boy on the tractor. When he saw me, he stopped the machine to allow me to pass. I kept driving to the house, and by the time I turned off the engine, there he was, right in front of the car, shovelling the pathway for me.
I looked in disbelief onto this beautiful little soul and decided to allow myself to receive this gift. I could have easily walked through the bits of the snow that the wind blew over night, but instead I watched him move his body quickly and with so much joy. I thanked him for his service. He looked at me and gave me a beautiful smile, at which he said: “I am sorry for not shovelling the path earlier” as he continued busying himself with quick movements of the shovel. I assured him it was perfectly ok and I really appreciated him doing it now. His little brother ran to him and grabbed a mini shovel to help too. As I was standing there, I felt love that was sent to me through those boys. I took it all in. “I hear you!” I said to the spirit, God, higher power. “Thank you!”
The boy was finished, I thanked him and walked a path to purchase the eggs from his family. His mom apologized to me again, for the boys not shovelling before. I assured her that it was all good and it really didn’t need it to be shovelled to get through, but I was grateful for the boys so eager to do it for me.
When I left the house, the little boy looked at me with his big, shiny eyes, rosy cheeks and beautiful smile. He was so happy to be alive, to be able to serve his family, his land, me. His body was emanating life and for the moment I saw his soul, choosing this life to fulfill its purpose. He smiled and said: “What a beautiful day, isn’t it?” At which he ran off to the tractor to continue his work helping his father at the farm.
When I got in the car, the tears were flowing freely now, I kept shaking my head in disbelief. What a beautiful way to receive a message, how grateful I was! This little boy showed me the meaning of life in a few minutes. Nothing could be more clear, more real, more true. How blessed am I to be able to receive it and live my life serving other beings.
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