From early years I had an awareness of my difference, feeling like I can not carry myself like most people. When I learned from Human Design that my energy type is Self- Projected Projector, I wanted to understand and know more because the first key words have already resonated with me deeply. Those words were: "Projectors are no- energy type". What does that mean? Here I was, studying energy and qigong, feeling the energy flowing through me but also experiencing a total burnout and health crisis, and found out I was a not energy type! I immersed myself in the study of Human Design system for several years, took courses but mostly studied on my own. The more I experimented, the more it amazed me in how accurate the design is in explaining what I am perceiving in people. I studied charts of everyone who was willing to share their information with me and charts of countless famous people, comparing what I see in them to what their charts revealed. In my own family life, I was lucky to study almost all types daily as I have Generators, Projectors and Manifestors living with me. Using my strategy and Authority correctly took years to learn and decipher. Self projected authority is quite rare as only 2.8% of people share it with me, so I had to learn more about it from my own experience rather then comparing with others.
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When I started to live my design, the changes came organically. At the time, I worked full time as a High School Art teacher, which is somewhat aligned with being a projector but working in school, with large groups of people was deteriorating my health. I am designed to work 1:1 or with small group and not able to carry regular 8-4 work schedule, as my energy comes in spurs, followed by the rest and recharge cycle. My mind didn't want me to give up a secure, well paid position, I loved my students and the vision of not being able to work with teenagers again was stopping me from quitting. However, my body couldn't do it and one day I was escorted from school to the ER in an ambulance. That is when I realized I may die if I continue to carry myself the way I did. After the sick leave and a surgery, I knew I can not come back but I took a 2 year unpaid leave of absence because I was still not able to give up my status of a teacher, a dream job I worked so hard to get. After a year I saw how amazing changes started to happen in my life, I was again, coming to be healthy, embracing my creativity and natural flow of energy. That is when I handed in my resignation and decided to take a new path in life. My children were still small and with a vision of being sick and my life ending if I continue working at school, I said yes to embracing being me and forgave myself for not being able to do what my mind believed I "should" do.
Life with Human Design means surrendering to our Authority, and learning how to hear it and distinguish it from the mind's chatter. It takes time, experimenting, trial and error. By saying "yes" to the incorrect things I experienced bitterness and burn out, but how to say "no" when there's years of habit and people used to me agreeing and doing things for them? That takes courage, perseverance and being gentle with ourselves.
Living as a Projector had closed many things in my life, but those were the things that were making me sick, unhappy and tired of life. Things that opened up are invigorating for my energy, give me ability to enjoy and fully embrace what I always wanted to do. I had to understand that even though I do not have the energy to do many tasks, I have unbounded energy to study things that ignite me and tremendous energy to guide those who recognize me. I started to teach private classes and run small group events, which was giving me much more satisfaction. Surrendering means also that those who do invite me, may come as a surprise to me. Understanding that I experience deep success guiding others I have let go of ideas who and how can benefit from my guidance. The reason is that I truly have no idea until the exchange actually takes place; sometimes I find out years after, sometimes I never find out but the feeling inside is a barometer of truth. When it is correct, the energy flows and I am full of vigour.
What does it mean to live correctly? For each individual there is a different answer. What truly speaks to me in Human Design is that it provides us with understanding of energy mechanics. It is varied and takes into consideration many influences, connections, transits, cycles and cosmic events. However, we don't need to understand this complex, new science system to be able to live it, because it functions well within our own vehicle, our own body. It is mechanical, so using our Strategy and Authority to make decisions of how we direct and use our energy automatically aligns us with the mechanics of our system and we stop experiencing resistance. When there is no resistance, there is flow, effortlessness, health and joy of living.
My true gift as a Projector is not really mine, it comes with mechanics of my aura, which penetrates deeply into the other's person centre of direction (known as magnetic monopole in Human Design) and allows me to recognize how life flows through that specific vantage point. At the same time my aura absorbs the information about their circumstances, environment, situations and I recognize what is the most beneficial for them at that moment, so I can guide them through asking questions. This experience allows the other person to recognize things about their experience that they had sensed but couldn't pin point themselves. It leaves me in awe of gratitude to be able to experience it and live it and gives me an appreciation for all the things that I get to experience as I live as my true self.
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As projectors, we carry everything we are out in the open in our aura, so people can recognize and hear it. Therefore, I believe that we have a responsibility to take care of our energy because it affects others deeply. Knowledge of Human Design is a great tool that helps us heal the trauma of being conditioned into believing that we can live like energy types without paying a high toll. When we take care of ourselves and live in a way to support our energy system, we can then become empowered guides for the people who need and seek our guidance.
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Are you ready to learn about your Human Design? I'd be honoured to guide you.